Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
