New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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