no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He felt like a one man threesome
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Randomize
