I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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