Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
