this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize