hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
