I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
