Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
