Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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