I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My balls are so social today.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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