these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
