I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
