I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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