I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
