i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
