I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Im part way to drunk.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
