I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
