just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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