Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
