i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
