I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
