Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
