hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
