i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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