I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We don't watch enough power rangers
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
