Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
