i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
