So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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