Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Text me some of your sweat
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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