quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
