Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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