I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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