How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The air taste purple.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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