Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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