have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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