Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
