He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
