I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize