Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
COCAINE IS GR8
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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