pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
