He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
