last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
