You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
