you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
