Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I still have a little drunk in my system
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
