If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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