She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
