The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
