Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
His nipple licking is glorious
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