you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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