Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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