And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize