Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
