I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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