if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
