I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize