How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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