my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he fucked my hip out of place.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
