I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
