therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
