I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She's the barista slut.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
