I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
