I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
