u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
